Chapter 10: In the Process of Healing

Healing is one of the most beautiful experiences that most people desire. Everyone desires to receive total healing in every aspect of life. In one way or the other, people need healing in their lives. Whether it's a recovery from loss of health, wealth, and relationships, healing is vital. It is important to note that people feel incomplete without healing, and recovery becomes a first-hand priority. It makes them want to heal instantly and within the shortest possible time. However, that is not part of God's procedure. There are processes and terrains that God takes you through before complete healing can be enhanced. When going through the healing process, we should understand that God does not need time to prepare. He is always equipped to strengthen and confirm our recovery according to His will and purpose. We are all ordained for healing, but we must understand God's methodology and how He works. As of now, I can speak about the healing power of God that makes healing manifest. God is always available to service our lives joyfully, and we learn His ways through healing.

To us, sickness and disease, trouble and adversity might be unprecedented but not with God. Whenever we are going through challenges, we should understand that the will of God is taking pre-eminence. God intends to fulfill specific willpower, which is why He chooses that path. When I had not received this understanding, I thought that material possession and knowing the best treatment facilities was enough for healing. That erroneous misconception has faded away with the knowledge of the healing process of God. When God takes you through adversity, you are supposed to learn many things. The Bible is very categorical about the protection of God, even during trying moments. It always works out for our good because God is faithful. Sometimes we seek healing, and all He wants us to do is have unwavering faith in Him. Even the most chaotic situations find their recovery in confidence grounded in God. 

The healing power of God works best when we believe in Him. Besides, when our part of the covenant is met, His integrity to heal and deliver is committed. I wake up every morning and thank God for giving me such wonderful kids. They listen to me and do what they ask. This is what inspires me, and I'm incredibly grateful to God. My children struggled and dealt with my mental illness for the past few years with determination. In the process, it seemed that was the way I could inspire Nathan, Darin, Dylan, and Evelyn-Skye. They took action to care for themselves and each other on days when I could not function. My kids understood that I needed the assurance of their love and unconditional acceptance. They never felt awkward about saying, "I love you." I always used to tell them that it was a form of healing, but I occasionally felt that I did not deserve it. They needed a strong mom, not a crazy sick mom, in my opinion. I love them so much for not letting my illness do damage to them or even affect them negatively. They understood me and allowed me to express how I felt...the ups and downs. They saw it all, and what they said was permanently instilled in me.

Darin (20-year-old) said, "Regardless, you are our mom and will always be our mom. You took care of us all these years, and now it is our turn to take care of you, so relax. Love you."

Nathan (25-year-old) said, "Everyone is crazy, mom. You are different, but you must let go and not try to control something beyond your control. We understand you have a mental illness but so what. It doesn't change you as a mom. You are strong; you will be way better once you get it. Chill out, Mom. We love you, and seeing you go through your trials and errors made us stronger."

Dylan (19-year-old) said, "You will be okay, Mom. I know you are sick. You can talk to me. I'm here for you. We can take care of ourselves. Stop worrying. We love you."

Evelyn Skye (12-year-old) said, "Mom, you have a big balloon inside your head. It is filled with many emotions. You need to pop it and let everything come out. I know you love me. I love you, too."

I show my kids that they have my full attention and that I care enough to listen to them. I believe that the goal of parenting is not to shelter our children. How we talk to our kids significantly impacts their learning and ability to listen to us. We need to have open communication. I speak very openly to my children about living with mental illness and how I am learning to manage the symptoms. They experienced the mania, the depression, and the psychotic sides of my disease. They do not see me as a sick mom. I am normal to them. Now is a huge difference compared to a couple of years ago. I have realized how much the parent-child relationship affects their emotional and mental development. My relationship with my kids has strengthened since I quit my job and stayed home. I am lucky to have this precious time with them. It is not about me. It is about laying a good foundation for my children.

I am coming to God as a child, longing to hear from Him and asking for His divine healing. There is so much I don't understand. But I know God can make me whole with one touch, one Word. I asked God to please forgive me of my sins, cleanse me of my unrighteousness, and begin his healing from the inside out. I do not always know what his will is, especially in times like now when I desperately seek his face. I offer Jesus no promises, bargains, or deals to exchange for my health. I bow my heart before Him to tell him my heart's desire: to become more like my Heavenly Father. However, He chooses to accomplish whatever He likes, not what we think He should. If He uses doctors to provide healing, give them the wisdom to know what to do.

Regardless of how Jesus accomplishes it, His healing is always miraculous. And Jesus deserves all the praise. That is why I'm writing my book to give him glory. Jesus has the power to heal. Even when my faith is weak, He says it is enough, and my love for Him is vital. And I know He already holds my heart and life in his hands. It is up to Jesus. If I can bring Him more glory through healing and writing my story, then that is what I will do. That is what I desire. I want His will to be my will. I need and want His physical healing and thorough, deep-down cleansing and strengthening—a whole-hearted renewal of all I am because all I am is His. And no matter what, I choose to honor Him and give Him glory. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I reach forward today, touched by the light, and receive my healing. Yes, I want to get well. Please give me the faith to walk in freedom and victor.

I write blogs and books about my mental health struggles and the renewal of my mind where spiritual transformation occurred. During my journey to healing and recovery, I knew it was possible through God's power to give me strength. I am interested in spiritual encounters because of my personal experiences. I am walking on a path of recovery, trying to figure out the deep spiritual meanings of my experiences. I believe in medicine and doctors, but now I strongly believe in divine healing. I know that the first step in all spiritual healing is to believe. Healing is a dynamic and reachable experience, a reality that can be experienced right now. My healing activity is currently at work in my mind and body.

I look forward to the perfect wholeness God is now manifesting through me. I know that with Him, all things are possible. Having stated in the supernatural and the people who believe they are healing. I want to know how people make deep connections with each other through my side. Being around people equally committed to pushing the limits of achieving and sharing meaningful knowledge is an honor. I am excited to learn and get inspiration from different people I encounter, and we become friends. I look forward to seeing where this experience takes all of us. Everything that happens during the process should be taken seriously for healing. It is essential to ensure that the people around your life can see your strength throughout. There are many hindrances to healing. One of the main hindrances is unbelief. Unbelief is a challenge that many people encounter during their Christian lives. There are times when fear, doubt, and mental issues hinder the amount of faith one can muster at one point. The problem lies in unrepentant sin and not following God's will. God cannot heal someone, not in line with what is required. The enemy uses sin as an avenue for attacks, some of which come as sickness. Another challenge I face is finding it hard to forgive and let go. People who carry burdens from their past and resentment for others do not receive healing because this issue weighs them down. A human hindrance comes in the form of pride. People need to shed their satisfaction and humble themselves before God can move in their lives. It calls for intense study of the Word and a buildup of faith to overcome these hindrances. What a person does not believe in cannot bring about healing. Everyone needs to be immersed in God for healing to take place. Suppose the person I am praying for felt resentment, bitterness, or orangery. In that case, I could tell them they must let this go before anything changes. Refusing to forgive is a burden that the enemy uses to keep one from focusing on God and everything he can do in an individual's life. 

For the longest time, I thought I was traumatized. I am walking on a path to recovery, but I have been plagued for a long time with heaviness in my heart that robs my peace and joy. It weighs me down that I cannot accept any help from other Christians. I despised anyone touching me to pray for me, supposedly. A sense of oppression would descend upon me for that reason. I've held onto severe resentment towards the Giver of Life Church pastor. I came to her church seeking help but not the kind of help I received. It was my first time attending a charismatic church. I was not prepared for that kind of environment, especially not when I was so low in a depressive state. My mind was volatile. I reacted badly and got so severely stressed that it triggered my mind, and I knew I had become dissociative. I was having bipolar and DID episodes caused by my mental illnesses. Then later, I found out that the Pastor and everyone at that church believed I was demon-possessed, and what they did to me was an exorcism. I felt so much resentment toward everyone. So, is it their fault? I knew I should forgive them, but I could not bring myself to do it and held a grudge for three years because I did not feel they deserved my forgiveness. I understand why every time I see lights, it takes me back to my experiences at Giver of Life, as if the angels told me I needed closure and reconciliation over the misunderstanding I held on to for so long. Jesus wants me to reconcile with Pastor Selina and make peace. I understand now that using the word exorcism is incorrect. What I went through and received was God's deliverance. I returned to Giver of Life, and Lena shared her testimony. I finally found closure and let go. I am obeying my Father God. When I chose to forgive them, the feelings that had been compromising my life-anger, resentment, fear, misunderstanding, and confusion--left my heart.

Co Hien recommended I take the Physical Healing course to find healing for myself. While inanimate objects can hold power from the spiritual realm, I received either impartation or recovery from the study. I can use my experiences to help others. However, that is not to say that it will not occur for others, and what's important is the information I learn that I can use to help me pray for people. I used to have a hard time believing how people could heal the sick. I doubt it and tend to avoid these people at church. I do not think anyone has the authority to heal except God. I need clarification. I learned that we had been commissioned to heal the sick. God has commissioned all Christians to heal. So, whether at church or if someone is sick, we should be a light in the darkness and offer prayer for them. We ask God to let us be used. The course teaches me how to pray for someone when I can. I would tell them, "Now, I can't promise. God will heal you. Some people get prayer to get cured, while others do not get healed. But people get healed when we pray for them. Many people prayed for me when I was sick and healed. Would you like me to pray for you? 

Now that I know we are commissioned to heal, what can we say about the scope of healing? There was a time when I believed that God could heal physically, but I had trouble believing He could heal mental illnesses. I did not think I could be cured simply by someone touching me and saying some words. But I think people get healed when we pray for them. Many people prayed for me when I was sick, and I started to heal. I must confess that I did not have much faith in healing mental illnesses until recently, which made me press into God with a greater force than if I had not experienced it. This is what I learned from the Physical Healing course that made me ask Him to heal me. Believe that He will and then begin acting on it. We are not to forget the things God provides for us. Two benefits are the forgiveness of sins and the healing of diseases. God will never give you a burden you cannot bear because his yoke is light. I am a living testimony of this fact, and I chose to follow the Lord and trust in His healing. I am more than ever encouraged that greatness is coming in a big way. The healing process takes place in phases and sizes. Everything is unique at every stage, but the principles of God are constant. No matter the needed healing, He can supply according to His riches in glory. Be patient for the glory of God, and his healing power will be put into effect to enhance your reality to be healed.