Chapter 13: Overcoming Adversity

Out of the experiences of my life, I have realized that adversity is not easy to handle. Encouraging people to face challenges is always easy, but the process is never a walk in the park. The most traumatic moments happen when people are going through one form of adversity or the other. It has never been an assurance that we will live a problem-free life. Challenges and adversity are unprecedented. It, therefore, becomes vital to ensure they are cared for from a wise point of view. I encourage people through my trouble because I gained much experience. I realized it was God's way of preparing me for more significant mandates in the future.

Before I knew it, my heart almost sunk because I could not comprehend myself being able to handle adversity. Therefore, I felt the world had ended, and everything was against me. I felt like I was destined for doom. However, I'm profoundly grateful for the Grace of God that came so powerfully to my rescue. I can confirm without a doubt that adversity can always be a challenge. Having one mental problem after the other is not as easy as it can be thought. It is a traumatic experience that takes you directly to the world of thoughts. Worse still, knowing you are battling a situation with no medical cure torments your spirit. I knew that bipolar disorder would not be defeated by being admitted to the hospital. Still, I made a resolve to stay strong. I knew it was too much for me, but the spirit of God encouraged me to stay strong. I would have given up were it not for the grace of God.

A series of mental problems pursued my life relentlessly. I was unsure how it would end, but the danger was almost inevitable. From time to time, thoughts of pessimism started knocking on my door until I encountered the full force of God. I realized that I could challenge my adversity by invoking the power of God. Having known that encouraged my heart that I would finally overcome the trouble that had its jaws wide open to swallow me. An incident happened – I can't even remember what it was – and my fear kicked in. That night I was reading the Bible in the Book of John. My cousin called me, and she asked if I was okay. She asked because she heard from my mother-in-law that I was demon-possessed. This caught me off guard, and then it emotionally hit me hard. It left me full of negativity and hate, which was highly irrational. I hung up the phone. I was so upset. I couldn't believe what everyone had thought of me. I was shaking hard. This stirred up so much emotion from all parts of me. I hear voices inside me screaming at each other. I had no choice. I had to leave the house. I had to get out of there because I was afraid the Lion would come out, and she would say unforgivable things. I felt overwhelmed by the pain I endured when my mind split, and I knew I could not stay home. I felt the Lion consumed with rage. At that moment, I could not let my alter, Lion, take control and go crazy on my mother-in-law. I had to leave the house and go somewhere safe where I could not harm anyone.

I took Evelyn Skye in the car to drive to Sonny and Linda's house, my sister and brother in Christ. I was in no condition to go, but I felt I had no choice. While driving, I saw a bright light, and deep in my heart, I knew to follow it. The light helped guide me to their house. When I arrived, I broke down at the door, shaking convulsively. I fell into my brother's arms, and I could not talk. I cried so hard. I stayed with them until I regained my mind by talking about God. The angel guided me to a safe place, their home. I tried to suppress everyone's emotions and thoughts.

I want God to heal divinely, so I stopped taking medication. I want to try living my life without drugs because I believe in the power of God. I have been reading the Bible and am encouraged that it shall be well. I hope the Lord can help me go to sleep when I cannot sleep on my own. Sometimes I am in bed for 7 to 8 hours but not sleeping. One thing I'm doing right now – instead of counting from 100 backward– is meditating on God's Word and repeating verses in the Book of Romans that I wrote down repeatedly to stop my mind from overthinking. I tell my mind and emotions to be still. As I lay in bed – God is present with me. I am never alone.

I must embrace the peace of Christ and let it rule in my heart tonight. What I chose to become is a pillar of strength instead of a delusional liability. I decided to become a source of power instead of a source of pity. I deliberately chose to love God and what He was doing. I allowed my life to see greatness instead of adversity. After all, was said and done, God was gracious enough to show me my purpose. From there, I knew I was living for something and would not give up. The spirit of God had encouraged my heart, and I was sure that greatness was coming my way. I realized that I'm different because God wanted me that way. All that time, the most challenging part of the adversity was mental alignment. I was recovering from a negative mentality through the inspiration of God. It was clear to me that the level of life and destiny we live is primarily a part of the mentality. If I dealt with my mind, I could overcome any challenge. Although the healing has not occurred entirely, I am sure it will end in victory. The moment I realized that complete recovery was in the hands of God, I got relieved. I programmed my mind to focus on my life as if I had never been ill. I got encouraged that my issue never met God through a surprise. He knew it all and was in the process of preparing me for an extraordinary destiny. 

I deliberately decided to encourage others and become a pillar of hope to them. If you are going through the same or even worse, I can confidently encourage you that you will win. Always remember that it is darker before dawn, and the intensity of darkness promotes the glory of light. I lay before you the memories that haunt me, the anxieties that perplex me, the despair that frightens me, and my frustration at my inability to think clearly. Please help me to discover your forgiveness in my memories and know your peace in my distress. Please keep my focus on my purpose in my new life.